(6) ::Listening & Ethics::

            I generally consider myself to be an easy-going person.  I think that I communicate in a more unassertive way more often than not.  The only exception to this is when I’m working with people and important things just aren’t getting done.  Then I would more likely become a bit more assertive and to the point, but I wouldn’t naturally be the “take charge” kind of person unless no one else is stepping up. 

            When I took the “Listening self-evaluation”, I ended up with a score of 75.  This is the side of leadership that comes naturally for me.  I would much rather sit and listen to someone attentively than have someone else have to listen to me.  The one thing that I scored the lowest on was listening and paying close attention even when the subject is boring or too complicated for me to understand.  It’s so easy just to tune out when that happens, but it’s still important to be there for people and actually hear what they are saying.

            A few years ago,  I was the co-leader of a music ministry team to Hong Kong, and we were supposed to lead worship at a local church for the second time, but we didn’t have enough songs.  We had to come up with new songs and lead the congregation in worship.  There was a guitarist on my team named Lucy who had a beautiful voice, but was only a designated guitarist because we had three other female vocalists who were less experienced, but had lots of potential.  The dilemma was: Do we just let Lucy lead worship because we know she can do a great job?  Or do we give the other three girls a chance even though they are less experienced and might not produce as good of results?  Using care-based thinking, I eventually decided to let all four of the girls work together and have Lucy play the guitar to accompany the other three girls, because they needed a chance to grow, learn, and maybe improve upon their skills, whereas Lucy would have done a really nice job, but it wouldn’t be a new growing experience for her.  To me, the results were not as important as the people and the learning experience.  

(5) ::The Lingo::

            When you get involved in a certain organization, you quickly begin to see that it takes on its own culture.  This is especially the case with CTI Music Ministries, a ministry I have worked with closely over the past three years.  CTI has many great values that they try to instill in the people who get involved.  Servanthood, adaptability, patience, encouragement, discipleship, and evangelism are just a few of the many values they hold.  One of the things that may take a bit of getting used to at CTI is the dress code.  When you’re a member of a CTI team, you are not only representing yourself, but you are representing the ministry, and ultimately Christ.  That being said, they ask that when you are in public or playing a concert, your appearance is put together and modest.  A few great things about any community are the inside jokes, slang, and lingo that come along with it.  If you were to hang around CTI, here are just a few phrases or words you may hear:  Green line it, shaz, de-shaz, Newland, KP, flight pack, janksy, and many more.  You may need someone on the inside to translate for you to actually understand what people are talking about! 

            I think that upbringing can have a lot to do with a person’s values and even their leadership style.  For me, I have certain values that I have been raised with because they have been important to my family for generations.  My family is one hundred percent, full blooded Dutch.  You may not think that being Dutch comes with many distinguishing characteristics or a specific set of values, but I have lived it.  One of the biggest characteristics of a Dutchman is that we are known to be stingy or cheap.  Because of that, I have always learned to only spend money on things that you need, and save as much as possible.  To this day, my parents emphasize the importance of being frugal with money, and model it in their own lives.  

(4) ::Self Knowledge::

       I think that one of the biggest things that have influenced me most in my life have been my experiences with a depression/anxiety disorder.  Struggling with depression has given me a much better grasp on not only my own feelings, but now I pay attention to the moods and emotions of others.  The things I struggled with are not “who I am”, but learning through those things and seeing the Lord work through them has made me who I am and has brought me to where I am today. 

            Something, or rather, someone else who has influenced me has been my mother.  This woman has not only raised three children, but she has fought battles, been a leader, been an encouragement, and been my best friend.  At first glance, she seems like a sugary sweet lady, but underneath her kind exterior, she has such incredible strength that she may not even recognize in herself.  When my dad got sick and couldn’t go to work, she found enough strength in herself from the Lord for everyone.  She really has led me by example and has stood by me through good and bad, and has made me into the woman I am today, and continuously challenges me to grow. 

            When I was co-leading a music ministry team to Hong Kong last summer, it was an entirely new experience for me.  I had to test things out and see how they worked with my team and my other co-leader.  I had to accept responsibility for the fact that there were some areas where I was slacking off and being too passive.  On that trip, I guess I kind of discovered what my leadership style was, and I saw the differences between mine and my co-leader’s leadership styles, and where we needed to compromise with each other so our team would be able to function.  All of those things I experienced would never have sunk in if I wasn’t constantly reflecting on what happened every day, and seeking out new things to think about so that I could make myself into a better leader.  

(3) ::A Place to Belong::

                       If I’m being completely honest, I’m kind of a huge weirdo.  My junior year of high school was really hard for me.  Everyone in my small private school had been there their entire life, and I had just switched schools a few years prior.  Most of the kids there dressed and acted the same, and had the same interests, adding to my discomfort.  That first semester of school was a pretty lonely time for me.  But that was all about to change.  All it took for me to feel included was one person.  One person from my church’s youth group reached out to me and eventually became my best friend.  She had just moved into town from Washington, and didn’t know anyone at school.  I guess we bonded over the fact that neither of us fit in very well, and eventually we had a small circle of close friends there.  It showed me that if you just put yourself out there and reach out to other people who maybe aren’t being included, God can really bless that and you can wind up finding a great place where you belong. 

                       In August of 2009, I joined a full-time ministry called CTI Music Ministries.  Basically, I traveled around in a van and overseas to Taiwan and Hong Kong with a team of seven people playing music in churches, schools, homeless shelters, prisons, and anywhere else where people would allow us.  During training before our first tour, we were constantly taught that this ministry is not about the music, it’s about being a servant.  Most of my team completely bought into that concept, but there were a few people who just never got it, and never really adapted very well to the servant lifestyle.  It was really hard for them to handle, and caused a lot of conflict on the team.  The essential things everyone needed to have for our team to succeed were: having a servant heart, knowing what our focus was supposed to be, adaptability and flexibility, trust for our teammates, and a pure willingness to do whatever was asked of us.  Without that, it was hard to build relationships as a solid team and get things accomplished in the way we knew was required.  A team needs to have a united effort and everyone should be on board with that vision.